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Tales of Shiva
Shiva really fascinated me as a revered and holy figure who juggles both a life of an ascetic and that of a father and husband. There are many seemingly dichotomous relationships within Shiva's being that I plan to discuss in this project, but I wont give them away yet!
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| A Shiva family portrait |
Hey George! I love the concept of your storybook. What initially attracted me was the phrase "cosmic dance;" I seem to remember having heard Shiva's name in connection with dance before, and I am excited to see how this plays a role in his story. The image on the homepage is vibrant and colorful, and does a great job of drawing in the reader. The overall website layout is very strong. Your imagery is beautifully written and provides vivid images for the reader, particularly in regard to the stained glass and the column of fire.
ReplyDeleteIt may be helpful to the reader to include a short introduction as to who Ganesha and Kartikeya are, so that we can connect with their narration from the beginning; I was unclear as to who these characters were until Shiva referred to them as "my sons" toward the end. Was the flame in the story supposed to represent Sita? I am also a little unclear as to how Brahma lied regarding the flame, and what exactly the boar and goose were looking for in the flames.
There was one minor capitalization error in the sentence, "he told me so himself!" Overall, great job!
Hello there, George!
ReplyDeleteYour entire project seems so interesting to me because I find it counter-intuitive that Shiva would receive so much praise. From your first story, I can certainly tell that Shiva is a very powerful deity. I also loved the way you described the events with such attention to detail. I was really visualizing all of the subtitles of the boys' home. I think you could add some context in a couple of places. For example, we know that the two boys are the sons of Shiva, but you could describe their role as sons of such a powerful god. Are they also gods? Do they possess any kind of power? Another place that could potentially benefit from context is before the conversation the brothers have. Are they playing? What prompts them to argue about their favorite gods? I also found it counter-intuitive that the boys were so afraid of their own father. Is he very cruel to them? Is there some reason their favorite god is not their own father? I loved the eloquent prose that you maintained throughout the entire story. When you had such a well-written introduction paragraph, I was hoping you would keep the same style consistent and you did! The brothers could perhaps speak less formally to one another; I'm assuming they are quite young and some variation in speech styles could make for a more charismatic story. Great job!
Hey George,
ReplyDeleteThis is the second storybook that I read that is going to be about Shiva! I really think it is interesting because Shiva is the destroyer as you say but people always seem to ask him for boons. In the two stories we have read almost no one asks Brahma or Vishnu for boons but it is always Shiva or Indra. Shiva and Indra also had cities and placed dedicated to him.
Who are Genesha and Karikeya?
Check the sentace regarding the boys both new, later in the sentence you say “and the of the two great gods” which I was confused on what you meant. It is interesting that you made the boys not really admire their father but talk about how great the other two gods are. I did not know about Vishnu digging so maybe explain this. I like how you made the children seem pretty much clueless about the father and now set it up greatly so that the father, Shiva, can explain himself.
I can’t wait to keep reading, keep it up!
Hi George!
ReplyDeleteWow, I really appreciated how well organized your site was! It was easy to navigate and it made the entire reading experience a lot more pleasant. Your story was so great! I loved the amount of detail that you included throughout. I wonder why Ganesha and Kartikeya were so ignorant to how powerful Shiva was in comparison. I also wonder how different gods can really be compared greatness wise because I feel like it's a very opinion based inquisition.
What if you were to re-tell the story but from Shiva's point of view. I feel like I would be annoyed that my sons weren't giving me enough credit but that might just be me! It would be interesting to get a more in depth perspective on how he was feeling about everything that was going on. Great story though! I loved reading this one because it was a completely new story to me!
Great story, George. Your style of writing really draws the reader in. It's very vivid and full of description! I feel like you're painting an intricate scene in my head. I also really like the clean design of your website. It doesn't distract the reader with any superfluous design, but focuses precisely on whatever you want the reader to see. The background image you used - mist covered mountains upon which Shiva can be found meditating - really set up the scene where Shiva comes in. Full of mystery and inspiring awe.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you portrayed the story from Shiva's sons' points of view. From reading your source material, coupled with your story, it seems like the trimurti are three separate beings that are almost rivals with each other. I thought they were just three aspects of one god (like the Biblical Triune God), but that seems to not be the case. I wish we could have seen more of what Ganesha and Kartikeya could do. You stated that, because they were Shiva's descendants, they were destined for greatness, but what exactly do they do? Did they live up to their father's name/reputation?
Hey George,
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading your story! Even though I've heard Shiva's name mentioned a lot this year I feel like I really didn't know much about him and all his different stories. I like how you introduced him as the destructed and how you'll be focusing on why that makes him one of the most worshiped Gods. I really like the detail you use and how you used a picture of Mount Kailash to give us a good picture of the setting of the story. I like how the story started with the two boys arguing when Shiva, their father, appears before them to explain why he is the best. I also like how you included a story about Parvati his wife. In my story about Mandodari, she is actually cursed by Parvati when Shiva is caught cheating with her. It's interesting to see a new perspective of her when she's not vengeful and angry. I also like how the story is told as a conversation between a father and his sons. It makes it feel more personal.
So I found your project very interesting because I'm currently creating a storybook that has a lot of Shiva affecting the story line. I'm writing about Pradyumna, an reincarnation of Kamadeva. It was cool to see these names that I'm familiar with show up here. I changed up the cause of Shiva incinerating Kamadeva, but I found it interesting to read your version. I like the personality you gave both Shiva and Parvati. Also, the description of Parvati was fantastic. I thought your images were interesting and they captured my attention to the point that I wanted to know how they related to the story. I liked how you told the story as a conversation to their children. This way the reader learns the story alongside the characters. I also agree that it's hard to find an origin story for Shiva, there's so many stories intertwined with all of these Epics and things we're reading.
ReplyDeleteHi George,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your storybook. Your writing style is great and I think that your idea is fascinating. The first two stories fit together wonderfully and the way you transitioned was great. I like that you are focusing on Shiva's family. One thing that confused me a bit is in the Author's Note on the second story, you said you would focus on Ganesha and Kartikeya... Is the storybook about Shiva or about his family? Maybe you have already thought about this and maybe he is more involved in their stories than I can see, I was just a little confused on the direction of the stories. I would love to hear about Ganesha and Kartikeya (And loved Parvati's Story), but maybe your introduction is a little misleading if that is the way that you are going with your stories.
I look forward to seeing your finished product!
Hi George,
ReplyDeleteI really like the aesthetic of your storybook project. I liked how your introduction page was an overall summary of what your entire project would be about. I also liked how you explained that you have always been fascinated with Shiva. On your posts, I like how you changed the photo at the top to relate to Shiva as well. This has inspired me to review my portfolio and make a few changes as well. The Origin of Shiva was overall my favorite story because you approached it from a different angle, which was different than any Shiva story told before. I did get that stern, fatherly love angle that you portrayed in your story. I also got a protective vibe from Shiva over the boys as he basically unleashed all of his power. There is no love like a father's and the way his power became unleashed and the boys realized that it was Shiva's was a turn of events. Overall, great work on your portfolio and I cannot wait to read more.
Hey George!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your stories so far. The look of your project is on point. You made your project very easy for the reader to use. I like that you are focusing your project around Shiva. I think it'll add a lot of structure to your project. I read both of the stories posted so far: The Most Powerful of the Trimurti and Parvati wins Lord Shiva's heart. My favorite so far is Parvati wins Lord Shiva's heart. The way you told the story was great. It felt very personal. The use of detail made it easy for me to visualize the story. The dialog was really good. I think maybe structuring the dialog in a different way will break up your text. It would give it a "script" type look. Overall, the project is looking great. I'm excited to read more on your take of Shiva's story. Good job so far!
Hey George, I just want to say that from the start, I really enjoyed the focus of your story. I am a huge fan of stories that deal with the exploration of well-known Gods such as Shiva. There is a lot that intrigues me, and a lot more that I don't know about Shiva, so I am excited to go through your storybook and learn a little bit more about him. Another thing I want to talk about is your intro. Your intro was short but to the point. It gave me a clear idea of what your storybook was going to be about and what I should expect from it. I also really enjoyed how it contained some background facts regarding Shiva. This for sure peaked my curiosity. The way you structured your stories is something else I really liked. I think you starting with the origin of Shiva is a great idea. It gave me sort of a chronological timeline that I could somewhat follow. Your website is also super easy to use, which is really important in a project of this caliber. Keep up the good work, man. I look forward to reading your future stories.
ReplyDeleteHi George!
ReplyDeleteI think the topic you chose to focus on with this storybook is quite interesting. It’s fascinating how many different forms Shiva takes and how many different roles he plays in Hindu stories. I also like how you decided to incorporate the familial aspect of Shiva’s life into your storybook. One thing that did perplex me a little was the way you approached the relationship between Shiva and Parvati. If I understood correctly, Parvati is a reincarnation of Schakti, who is a goddess, so really Shiva has only ever had one wife, right? I think clarifying that point would make it a little easier to follow the second story. I’m also a little confused by the title of “the Origin of Shiva”, mostly because (as you say in the Author’s Note) it isn’t really an origin story. I think retitling it to something along the lines of “Introducing Shiva” would make things a little easier to follow. I really like what you have so far, and I can’t wait to see what you do next!
Hello Geroge,
ReplyDeleteI want to start off by saying that your website looks really good. I liked the illustrations that you have included and the overall appearance of the site. It is also well structured, and the navigation bar allows us to go through all of the pages quickly. I also appreciate that you have a link to the comment wall in all of your pages. If I could make one recommendation, and this is based on the looks from projects that I've seen from other people. Instead of having hyperlinked text mentioning your comment wall, just include a button instead with a link to your comment wall. In my opinion, it looks better, but you might want to try it. Either way, your website looks fantastic, and your topic is super interesting. I look forward to reading more from you!
The randomizer brings me back to your storybook, George. I'm glad I could read the second story, and love how you brought in Parvati as the essential counterpart to Shiva. Without his "other half" he is totally powerless and can't do anything to help the world. I can imagine that's what being in love feels like, and your wording really portrays that feeling, especially from Shiva's point of view. The prevalent motif of love transcending time is really cool as well. The dialogue/interaction between Shiva and Parvati is between a relatively young couple, but their playful bickering is reminiscent of a long-married couple who know each other very well. And again, you portrayed that really well! I'm excited to read more of what happens next with their children!
ReplyDeleteHi George! It’s so nice to meet you. With that being said, I would like to begin by saying that I really enjoyed reading your storybook. I really liked that in the first story, you focused primarily through the eyes of Shiva’s sons, Ganesha and Kartikeya. I thought that by writing from their perspective, you were able to truly show the skills and powers of the mighty Shiva. I also really liked that you compared him with other gods, in order to demonstrate how strong he was.
ReplyDeleteA question that I have is that did you consider adding more information about his origin? I saw that you explained and demonstrated how powerful of a god he is, but never really got into where he came from. With that being said, I do suggest that you add a few more details stating about his origin and how he came to be one of the more powerful gods.
Hi George!
ReplyDeleteI just read your story titled, "A boy destined to defeat demons." I really did enjoy reading it, and I can tell that you had fun writing it. I can tell that you put a lot of thought into it. I like how you said you went a little rouge while writing this in your author's note. I've learned in this class that going rouge can lead to some great stories. I learned a lot about Shiva's family through your story. I did not know much about all of the characters so I had to do a little research on my own.
I did notice one typo in your story. In the eight paragraph, I think you wrote "food" instead of "foot."
My favorite part of your story was when Kartikeya is when he wanted his dad to tell him about his purpose. This is an import question for everyone to answer as life without a purpose would be meaningless.
For your most Shiva's first born story, I would recommend that you capitalize your title.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I love your first line of dialogue, it was pretty damn funny. I generally liked your characterization of Kartikeya. He reminds me of Percy Jackson; a kid way in over his head and kind of a goofball, and oddly a bit of an underdog, despite being half a god.
Actually, everything in your story reminds me of Percy Jackson for some reason, I especially like this section.
“The streaking ribbon of energy collided with the golden peacock with a sizzling crack and the golden surface of the figure began to glow red hot and melt away. With a loud screech, a form burst from the confines of the molten metal and spiraled up through the dark blanket covering the sky. The force of its beating wings cleared the air and after a triumphant and playful lap around the courtyard, the beautiful and noble beast landed and bowed before Kartikeya.”
The way information is obscured, but the audience still knows what is happening due to the vision previously is relatively effective in building a mood of amazement, and third person limited perspective, coupled with the clear inexperience of the main character allows this seriousness to not contradict the ignorance based humor earlier.
The storybook’s lighthearted mood continues on rather consistently In your other stories, most of your stories have sections that make the gods feel clumsily human. Some people would dislike it, but personally I love it. Every god poops after all.
Hello George,
ReplyDeleteI like how easy your storybook is to navigate. The images you selected fit each story perfectly. I read your story, "A boy destined to defeat demons". Your story was fun to read! I like how you showed Kartikeya's child-likeness. I am not sure if that is a word lol. I like how Kartikeya can't hold his excitement. I like your use of descriptive words when you said, "ferocious winds in every direction as dark storm clouds began to cyclone over head." It paints a clear picture. For your author's note, I think you should expand a little more about your story. For example, you could add background research or you could summarize the source of the original story more. Great job! I am excited to read about Ganesha in your next story. All of the stories I have read about Ganesha are so fun and interesting!
Your classmate,
Joanna
Hiya Georgey!
ReplyDeleteI really like your project and the topic you chose is unique and related to the course curriculum. So great job on that! This week we are supposed to focus on your author's notes for our project feedback assignment, so that is what I paid the most attention to. First of all, I really like the manner of which your authors note (and story in general) is written. The story exhibits more formal, well-crafted writing while the author's note is more conversational, and thus more easily informative. I also like that all of your author's notes are at the end of your stories. I have seen a lot of people try to put them at the beginning, which often gives away critical plot points and disrupts the general flow of the reading experience. I like that you were specific about elements of the original writing as well as your intentions with your own story. After reading your author's note, I wanted to re-read your story and look for the elements you mentioned. Great work!
Hi~
ReplyDeleteWhat I like most about this class is when I think I already know everything, ancient India hits me back with more knowledge. I could've spent the entire semester on Shiva and his family. Shiva's interactions with Kamadeva was a decent plot point in one of my stories, but I focused on Kamadeva's side of the story. It's really cool to see another perspective on what happened. Your version is exactly how I imagined Shiva and Parvati talked about the incineration event.
Shiva's story is so interesting and your retelling was wonderfully done. I'm kinda sad there wasn't a Ganesha story to read. He is going to be in my last book entry and it would've been interesting to see what you came up with.
Amazing work on your storybook this semester! I thank you for writing about such interesting characters.
Hi George,
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool concept for a storybook! I hadn’t seen yours until now, so it was great to get to read through your complete project. The modern design of your site with its nice pictures looks great too.
I liked the way you wrote the dialogue for your characters: rather than writing in your own voice, that of a 2000’s college student, you wrote in various unique voices for all of your characters, making them much more interesting and believable. In particular, the way you portrayed Kartikeya as an eager and innocently power-hungry child rang very true and really gave the story a deeper feel.
This was great to read: well-written, interesting, and with characters that – as strange a thing as it is to say about religious and mythological figures – feel real.
(Your note on your third story about the difference in temperament between Ares and the Indian god of war was also very interesting, and appreciated!)
Thanks!
Best.
A.M.